Sunday, April 24, 2016

The Adventures of Stedman and Oprah

Dear Preppers and Survivalists,

photograph by
Greg Hernandez

Oprah Winfrey
I have always wondered what it would be like to be interviewed by Ms. Oprah Winfrey about preparedness. Which subjects would we cover in the interview? Would she ask about firearms, a controversial subject? Talk about economic tough times, an electro-magnetic pulse event (EMP), or other scenarios. Lastly, would she print a few hundred copies of "Prepper: Surviving the Tough Times Ahead," signed by me and her, to give to the audience?

Of course, these questions lead to what kind'a preps Mr. Stedman Graham and Oprah would make for tough times.

The Near Past
Stedman Graham lay in bed thinking about the love of his life. Their's was a complex relationship intertwined with politics, mass media, corporate affairs, and an undying love for each other.

In other words, they were happiest when they were alone, together.

The bathroom light turned off, as Oprah padded softly to the bed and threw back the covers sending a cool chill across his naked body.

"I love you too, sweetheart. Now jump in bed and get me warm, ... again.' he exclaimed.

Giggling, Oprah slipped off her robe revealing her favorite purple cotton fleece pajamas as she climbed into bed with her partner.

Snuggling close, Oprah looked into his eyes and said, "I've been thinking ..."

Stedman sternly cut her off "No, we're not getting married. I am not going to have lawyers ..."

"Not that silly. I've been talking to some people about some things, important things." she said cutting him off, too.

Seeing the concern in her eyes, he stilled and readied himself for the flood of information because he had seen her interviewing and deducational skills over these many years.

"Did you know that these United States has only three power grids, and that these power grids can be interrupted by various methods, such as terrorist attacks, solar flares, and other, simple, methods?" she asked.

"No" he replied.

"Did you also know that the government has no formal plans for responding to this disaster?" she asked.

Again he replied, "No"

"Did you also know that, according to some experts, three-quarters of the people living in these United States would be dead in less than one-year from a nationwide blackout?"

Looking at her with concern, he said "No, I didn't."

"Did you also know that we could lose everything if this event happened even if we were visiting the school in South Africa?"

Sceptically, Stedman answered, "Darling, that's had to believe. Together, we have five houses, ten cars, retirement accounts worth millions, access to billions of dollars of contacts and influence, and ...

He paused, then gazed in to her eyes and said, "We would still be together and I would love you even if we were poor." as he kissed her lips, smelling the scent of their favorite toothpaste.

Breaking the kiss, Oprah said "I've interviewed over ten people about this." pausing, she continued "You remember Ted Koppel?"

Nodding his head, Oprah continued "He's writing a book. The book is about the venerability of the electrical grid. Even though it comes out next year, he sent me an advanced copy to read."

"I've read about him. Isn't he one of those alarmist journalists? Stedman asked.

"No, you're thinking of Dan Rather." Oprah laughed. "Plus, I have talked to some other people that confirm what Ted is saying in his book."

"You mean Tom Cruise, don't you?" he asked.

"Yes, I've talked to Tom, but ..."

Stedman, talking over her, said "But he's a nutcase, that cult he's a member of and those British SAS guys, he's been training with for those two movies "Oblivion" and "Edge of Tomorrow" have him convinced the world is coming to an end, tomorrow morning."

Slightly raising her voice "No, he gave me secret government reports that support what I've told you. And, ... confirmed what my other interviewees have told me about the electrical grid."

"Secret government reports, right!" he exclaimed.

Getting quiet, Oprah replied "Secret government reports that Ted Koppel was able to confirm were authentic because he had declassified copies provided from one of his sources, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson."

"Ouch! You win." he replied then asked "So what do we do about this?"

"That's why I'm talking to you. I need to do more research, but I don't want to use the usual research assistants, too many loose lips"

"In other words, you need deniability." Stedman stated in reply.

"I knew; I loved you for a reason." Oprah giggled as she snuggled closer.

"O.K., I'll ask around the office, for you, tomorrow." as he turned out the light, giving her one of the things she found most important in him, understanding.

D-day minus One Year
Walking into the kitchen, after work, Stedman found Oprah grilling two salmon steaks on the indoor grill for dinner. Patting her on the butt and kissing her, as he walked by to grab a beer; he asked "How's the research project going?"

"Fantastic! The four guys and gals you hired are coming up with some interesting information."

"Like what?" he asked.

"During dinner, darling." Oprah answered as she took a sip of wine and patted him on the butt.

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